How to write a eulogy for a friend or family member? Many people wonder that as it's not the kind of speech you give often. However, that's also not the kind of speech you can find online and adjust to your needs. A good eulogy is always personal and is centered around the person that passed. But how to write it when you feel overwhelmed by grief and have no idea what to focus on?
When it comes to writing a eulogy, improvisation is definitely not the best option here. Attending a funeral is a thing that is stressful on its own and you never know how will you react to it. You might get too anxious or sad, or simply struggle to find the right words. That's why it's so important to learn how to write a eulogy for a mother or for another person you loved - and write it before you go to the funeral. Doing so will make you more prepared, will ensure that you won't forget anything important, and will give you enough time to come up with a great speech.
Step 1: Get personal.
Keep in mind that not all the people present at the funeral know the deceased one as well as you do. So you need to come up with something emotional and personal to share with them. In order to do so in the best way possible, try talking with close friends or with the family of the person that passed. Encourage them to share some stories and memories with you: you might want to include a couple of them in your eulogy.
Step 2: Brainstorm.
Once you've collected all the information you need, it's time to move to the next part of the process. You probably want to learn how to write a eulogy for a father, a mother or a friend because you want to honor them, right? This means that you'd probably want to add some of your own personal stories to the eulogy.
Therefore, find some time to sit and write down anything that comes to your mind when you think of the deceased one. This is somewhat similar to a brainstorming that an essay writer does to craft a perfect paper: everything is important, from your own ideas to quotes, and everything could be included if you find it appropriate.
Try brainstorming as long as you find it comfortable - but don't do that for more than an hour. Then take a pause and return to the information after a while, looking at it with fresh eyes and picking facts and stories that seem the most important to mention and that represent the personality of the deceased the most.
Step 3: Come up with a theme.
How to write a good eulogy? By picking the main theme that you would center it around. The theme is what makes the eulogy look unified - but how should a theme look like?
There's no specific rule for that. You can pick a topic like «Who was the deceased?» as a theme of your eulogy. Or you can focus on what makes your loved one so special. Or share some life lessons and wisdom you've learned from them.
Sometimes you might come up with more than just one theme - and that's okay too. However, in this case, you should try harder to organize them together naturally.
Step 4: Put everything together.
Now, when you have everything you need, it's time to put it together nicely. Don't worry: learning how to write a eulogy for a grandmother or for another family member is actually harder than the writing process itself. You should write like you speak. Include quotes if you like, but don't try to make your eulogy sound too smartly written. Remember that your goal here is not to write a literature piece but to say something to honor the person that passed - and to touch the others with your speech. This could be achieved with the help of simple words.
Step 5: Add and edit.
Once your eulogy is written, it's time to move on to the polishing and editing process. Read it, double checking the facts and the names you've mentioned. Make sure that you didn't forget anything important. Edit it so it would be easier to read: so there won't be any long sentences, complex phrases, etc. Also, look for things that could be considered inappropriate: if you think that something in your speech might offend someone, it would be better to cut it out.
Step 6: Practice.
Even if your eulogy is great, you need to ensure that it would be easy for you to give. Sometimes people struggle with memorizing things, sometimes they get too overwhelmed by their emotions, sometimes they feel anxious because they need to speak in public. You need to practice giving your speech a couple of times to minimize the risks of this happening and to ensure that nothing would distract you from giving a speech.
But even if your practice won't help and you'll find yourself struggling with the speech at the funeral, don't panic. Remember that everyone present knows what you're going through and that they're going through the same thing as well. So take some time to catch your breath, take a sip of water if you want - and continue.